You’ve met someone new and things seem pretty good in your relationship. The only problem is that they don’t want to meet your friends or family as much as they would like to. They even say that they don’t trust you enough to invite you over to their place. What should you do?
People tend to behave differently around certain groups of people, such as close relatives, neighbours, colleagues, etc. This is known as social norms. In particular, individuals’ tendency towards conformity varies depending on whether they are acquainted or unfamiliar with each other.
This concept has also been expanded into the realm of romantic relationships. According to researchers at the University of Michigan, couples who had positive experiences during courtship tended to adhere to these same behaviours once they started living together. However, after six months, they began to exhibit some differences from their partners, such as being less likely to agree on household chores.
What kind of Relationship you should look for?
Relationships are an integral part of life. There is no denying that the quality of our relationships affects us greatly. We interact with others every single day and these interactions shape us as individuals. However, sometimes we end up falling into unhealthy patterns with those close to us.
Whether it’s romantic relationships, friendships or familial relations, everyone wants to find the right person with whom they connect on meaningful levels. If you want to improve your chances of success with relationships, here are some tips for choosing the right partner.
Choose Someone Who Shares Similar Values
First things first: you need to choose someone who shares similar values with you. This means that you cannot go too far off track when selecting someone you wish to enter into a relationship with.
It is okay to value things differently, as long as you respect each other’s opinions. As long as you understand each other’s beliefs and share common ground, you can still successfully coexist in a relationship.
In order to ensure that you have compatible values, talk to your future partner about what is most important to him/her and what he/she finds valuable in life. Find out whether his/her priorities align with yours, and vice versa.
Think About What You Want Out Of Relationships
Sometimes, we fall into relationships without thinking much about what we really want out of a relationship. You may think that you don’t care about a potential partner’s background or finances, but you actually may subconsciously see certain characteristics as attractive. For example, you may assume that a wealthy man would pay for your dream house, or you may feel attracted to a handsome guy since you think that he will probably be successful in life.
These are completely unrealistic expectations that often lead to disappointment and frustration later down the road. Take some time to evaluate your current desires, values and goals before entering into any serious relationships.
Be Open To Different Points Of View And Opinions
Talking to your prospective partners helps you learn about their points of view and opinions. While you may initially disagree with something said by one of the two of you, it is better to address issues openly rather than ignore them. Otherwise, you may spend years in an unhappy relationship.
Awareness goes a long way towards avoiding misunderstandings and improving communication between couples. Be open to learning about the differences between yourself and your potential mate. Sometimes, even small changes to your behaviour can be beneficial.
Avoid People Who Don’t Share Your Belief System
Many people join relationships based on superficial factors such as physical attraction. They forget that love is about more than appearances. You can easily miss the mark when dating someone simply because you do not agree on political views or religious practices.
Never let yourself settle for someone who doesn’t share your values. Make sure that there is mutual respect between you and your partner before moving forward and exploring a deeper connections together.
Learn How To Communicate Better With Others
As mentioned earlier, communicating well is essential for any lasting partnership. Unfortunately, many of us struggle to express ourselves clearly, especially when under stress. If you suffer from poor verbal communication, try working on this aspect of your personality early on to avoid problems down the line.
There are countless books available that teach effective communication skills. Read as much as possible to develop your ability to communicate effectively. Practice listening and speaking skills in real situations to enhance your interpersonal abilities.
Make Sure That The Relationship Is Mutually Beneficial
While it is true that relationships take work, they should be mutually beneficial. If one party does not contribute anything positive to the relationship, then the whole thing falls apart quickly. It will not last very long.
Boundaries in a relationship
We’ve all heard “don’t cross the line”, but what does that mean exactly? What is a healthy boundary in a relationship?
It means respecting each other’s feelings, limits, and personal choices without crossing any lines. However, sometimes couples don’t understand how to tell the difference between what is right and wrong. Here are 3 examples of unhealthy boundaries in relationships and how to change them.
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Putting others down to make yourself look good
Let’s say your friend makes an embarrassing mistake. Instead of being supportive and encouraging her, you find fault with her and belittle her for her actions. By putting her down, you are placing yourself above her and showing no respect for her feelings. This isn’t respectful towards your friend. If she wants to apologize and fix things, you’ll only add fuel to the fire by pointing out her mistakes.
Instead, try telling her something positive about her instead. For example, say “I think it was really funny when you made that joke last night. I thought you were hilarious.” Then, give her a chance to apologize in private. If she doesn’t apologize, then maybe she has issues that need addressing. Don’t force her to see herself as unworthy.
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Comparing yourself to another person in the relationship
This is typically done in a couple when one partner feels insecure about his/her manhood. The idea behind comparing oneself to another person is that he/she believes s/he’s better than the other person. It creates an environment of insecurity and triggers jealousy and resentment.
By staying in control of your emotions, you won’t feel jealous or resentful. You will realize that you’re equally as capable as everyone else, and you should treat every human being with kindness.
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Telling lies
For whatever reason, lying is common in our society. We lie to protect ourselves, hide secrets, cover up mistakes, and avoid confrontation. Some people believe they’re justified in lying because it would hurt the other person’s feelings. They justify themselves by saying, ‘Well, I didn’t actually intend to deceive him/her.’
However, lying is unacceptable in a relationship and shows a lack of integrity within the relationship. Therefore, it’s never acceptable to lie about anything. Even innocent little white lies are still lying – they may not be intentional, but they still show that you aren’t trustworthy. For example, if you think you are dating a busy man but he is lying that he is busy then it will not be acceptable for you and you will perceive it as he is cheating on you.
In addition to these three scenarios, there are plenty of other times when partners cross boundaries in relationships. If you notice that your partner is consistently crossing boundaries, talk about it together and decide what needs to happen differently moving forward.
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Set Clear Expectations in a relationship
Everyone wants a relationship where they can express themselves. Yet, most of us don’t feel comfortable expressing ourselves until after years of friendship. As such, if you want to maintain healthy boundaries, you first need to clearly understand each other’s boundaries.
For example, does your friend expect you to cook dinner every single night? Or does she simply ask you to come over on weekends? If she expects you to spend time together every day, you may have a problem. On the other hand, if she asks you to go out once in awhile, you won’t feel suffocated.
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Communicate With Clarity
Boundaries shouldn’t be unclear. It’s also important to communicate with clarity. For instance, you wouldn’t tell your partner that you wanted to sleep naked beside him. Nor would you say that you needed your space. Instead, be specific about what you want.
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Take Things Slowly
A relationship takes time to develop. No one likes to rush things. But you should still be careful about establishing boundaries. If your partner doesn’t respect your boundaries, he/she might withdraw emotionally. And that means no sex, and eventually, no companionship.
So, instead of rushing things, take things slowly. Let your partner know that you are trying to establish healthy boundaries. Once you do, you’ll notice that he/she will gradually open up and give you room to grow.
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Learn From Mistakes in relationship
Relationships are complex. Boundary issues aren’t easy to resolve. One of the biggest mistakes people make is to ignore problems early on. By ignoring them, we limit our ability to correct them later on.
Instead, learn from your mistakes. Address issues promptly and head off any complications. You will save yourself from future troubles.
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Be Honest About Your Needs
Sometimes, we don’t realize how much we need something until it’s gone. We see others enjoying certain benefits without realizing the importance of those things.
That’s why it’s very helpful to talk openly with your partner about your needs. Be honest about whatever you’re experiencing. Don’t wait until problems arise before addressing them.
Establishing healthy boundaries will improve your relationship overall. Moreover, it will allow you to enjoy your life more.
When you approach your lover, you should never forget your limits. That’s why establishing healthy boundaries in a relationship is essential.
Conclusion
In conclusion, many people struggle with setting healthy boundaries when it comes to their relationships. But just because you have trouble saying No doesn’t mean someone else won’t ask you to say Yes. In fact, a lot of times, people will take advantage of you if you give in too easily. Asking for what you want isn’t being controlling or demanding. It’s simply acknowledging and respecting another person’s needs and desires.
Instead of letting others’ demands shape what you allow into your life, instead, take charge of your own happiness. Make sure you surround yourself with people who share your values and priorities. When you choose those closest to you over everyone else, you’ll find that you feel happier and healthier than you could ever imagine!
